Becoming a shopaholic

HELP!

I cannot resist the happiness that money can buy!

Due to my late hours, my shopping always used to be limited to just the rare occasions when I actually wake up and bother to go out in time before the shops all close.

HOWEVER, recently a very horrible (but still rather pleasing) event has just occurred in my life, and I'm telling you, this event is the one to blame for the lack of blogging recently.

Speaking of reasons for lack of blogging, I'm sure some of you have seen some photos on my friends' blogs about my new amazingly pink princess room, but I'm not ready to show photos yet!!

Must wait! Right now, I have not started painting it pink (stripes) yet, and the giant mirror still has to be mounted, encircled with pink fur, and blah blah blah.

A lot of work lar!!!!!!

I shall only show you guys when it is completely ready. :D

So yeah, I was saying... this recent activity of mine that has been keeping me from blogging...

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EBAYING!!!!!!

WHY WHY WHY EBAY? Why you choose May and Choy as your ambassadors?! You must choose me mah! I am like (albeit only recently) ebay's biggest fan can?!

(No, ebay is not paying me to write this)

It all started when I saw Hayden Patteritte (or however to spell her name, I can't be bothered to go check) on TV show Heroes using the Juicy Couture Sidekick phone.

Even comes with its own chio pouch... kuakua...

Ok, so it's seriously gorgeous, and for a period of time, it was like the ONLY THING I EVER DESIRED.

Kelvin conveniently told me to try ebay - which, to be frank, I never used to trust because the Singaporean ebayers have blah items, and I didn't trust the overseas sellers with my money.

But desperate desires call for desperate measures, right?

So I went on International ebay to see if I can find this fabulous piece of calling machine.

And Voila, like 9 people were selling their Juicy phones!

Just before I bid, however, a forum I read said that the sidekick has to not only be unlocked for use in Singapore, but if successfully unlocked (which is unlikely because you need some code from T-mobile, a selfish US phone line provider), most of the functions will not even work.

What's the point of that bigass phone if I cannot email or IM on it?

I gave up on the phone, but it did not stop me from scratching out the word "phone" and just typing in "Juicy Couture".

What I saw almost killed me. Or my bank account, rather.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE JUICY!

Being not available in Singapore (except for a puny counter in tangs selling only watches at a ridiculous price - what's your point, little counter, huh? Selling to leprechauns?), it really stunned me how gorgeous their products can be!!

Ie:

Call me sua ku, but besides bags, tracksuits, shoes, socks, underwear and accessories, they even have travel packs and school supplies and laptop sleeves (which they proudly proclaim "Couture Computer") ok!

*swoons*

Well, those I can't afford, but there are a lot of other products that are at really good prices, and the items are all brand new!

Shipping, however, usually costs from $25 to $40(!) sing.

Sigh.

But worth it what, some things just cannot be found in Singapore.

I'm beginning to think that shopping here is really lousy.

These are the things I bought so far, in Singapore dollars (all brand new and authentic unless otherwise stated):

Juicy Couture top
$41.60 - with shipping $74.63

I cannot resist things that are baby pink and terry cloth combined.

I just can't. The Juicy people know my weakness....

Born in the Glamourous USA!!!

Juicy Couture Straw tote
$66.50, plus shipping $95.81

This bag was lightly used, but still, I like it so much! Just hope the chick who used it is not a gross person. Or dead. Or a diseased whore. Arghhh! Stop it.

There was another seller selling the brand new one for like $200, but the deal I've got seems much better. :)

Box of Fafi postcards
$13.60, with shipping $20

I love Fafi! It's really hard to find Fafi products, and I was thinking of painting Fafi on my wall (some of you might not know, but I'm pretty talented in drawing) so these cards would act as a guide. :)

Quidditch through the ages
$5.60 (kuakua so cheap), plus shipping $11.70

HARRY POTTER MANIA! I don't think Singapore sells this book, and plus, this is a true-blue Great Britain first edition!

Digressing, I was looking at random Harry Potter auctions, and some of the first edition signed copies of Rowling's books are going for as high as $10,000!!

TEN THOUSAND BUCKS LEH!

I looked at those people bidding so much for a book, and it just struck me how sweet it is to look at all these anonymous ebayers, who, like me, love Harry Potter so much and I dunno, I got so moved, I actually cried.

I know, so stupid. But Harry Potter is so so so fantastic... Oh, Snape... Ok I'm gonna start crying again. To happier things!

Baby Phat halter dress
$40, plus shipping $66

With "Baby Phat" in cursive gold letters

Baby Phat products are really gorgeous too and they are not available in Singapore as well!

And baby pink + terry? Sigh... The dress hasn't arrived yet but I hope it fits.

Victoria's Secret Angel tote
$21 total

This is the only thing I bought from a local seller. I've been wanting a clear bag for some time now, all the better to show off my sparkly gadgets with. HAHAHA!

Juicy Couture Starlet Bag
$86 (really a steal compared to original price), plus shipping $110.

Don't think I have to say anything about this. The words say "Juicy Girl's Club" and "Juicy girl next door". Perfect for a casual day out in jeans. :D

z22 Palm PDA
$81, plus shipping $129

I've been looking for a nice looking and small palmtop in Singapore to no avail, but found this on ebay!

The bids started from $0.01 and went up to $81 - which I won. So so so happy!

Now it's diamante-encrusted (pics later) and helps me keep my appointments, which I kept forgetting, much to the anger of many people. Sorry lar!

Playboy satin jacket
$56, plus shipping $74

Playboy products are also very cute but unavailable in Singapore! This jacket is quilted all over and is satin grey and baby pink!

I LOVE SATIN JACKETS CAN?!

Juicy Couture wallet
$54, plus shipping $89

I love it soooooo much! :)

Juicy couture tracksuit (Model not included)
$80, plus shipping $106

Perfect for those late night supper sessions, or to fly to exotic countries in! Softest terry, J zip puller, with sweet pink eyelet lace on the sleeve-ends! =D

And perhaps the most absurd steal of all...

PINK STRAIGHTING HAIR IRON
$0.01, plus shipping $40

Ridiculous or not you tell me?! I dunno how the seller can manage to earn back his cost lor!

The iron works FANTASTICALLY (ceramic-coated negative ions technology blah blah) and is a awfully cute shade of pink!

SINGAPORE HOW TO FIND?!

And even with shipping, $40 for hair iron is very cheap lor. HAPPY!!

My guilty splurge...

Juicy Couture watch
$312, plus shipping $330

It's so ex leh, but the authentic ones (I saw at Tangs) can go up to $1,000 plus!!! Madness.

And I really, really like this. Sigh... I'm becoming a shopaholic with no sense of control.

I'm sorry if you guys are bored with my shopping products, but I HAVE TO SHARE ALL THESE WITH PEOPLE!!!

I am also gonna buy...

Shoes! Ebay shoes are so cheap, all the starting bids are like $15! I just don't know if I should get size 5 or 6 (US the size is different one, our 5 seems to be their 6), must wait for the sellers to get back to me.

Ok ok, enough of shopping! My point is just that ebay is fantastic and they should endorse me!!! Hehe... I just love winning a bid - fighting with somebody else and finally wrenching the item from some disappointed chick's hands is AWESOME!

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For those of you who liked Girls Out Loud, there is virtually no hope for a season 2 (apparently people wrote in to MCS to say I am racist blah blah and that the show is promoting wrong values such as plastic surgery and exotic dancing *rolls eyes* - and Mediacorp takes such dickheads' opinions very seriously)...

But I'm pleased to announce a slightly similar substitute of it... except without my fantastic co-host Rozz.

Munkysuperstar is now producing XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE - a lifestyle program of me talking and doing nonsense!!

"Wanna learn how to make money doing nothing? How to find true love? How to lose weight without exercising? Xiaxue shows you how with practical and definitive advice! But don't take her too seriously; it probably won't work for most of you."

Fortunately for me, whenever I talk and do nonsense people seem to find it amusing, thus, a show is born!

The first ep is available here:

Getting my first tattoo!
Does it hurt?
How does the procedure go?
Check it out yourself. :)

Nope, it won't be on TV, but isn't it better to see it online where you can hear all my vulgarities loud and clear - anytime you want?!

Awesome.

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P/s: Hairspray is fucking fantastic. I swear, everytime that Zac Efron comes to the screen and does his wink or "And I'm... Link..." thingy, THE WHOLE CINEMA SWOONS. Did anyone else notice this phenomenon too? A swooning cinema? I swear it's damn amazing, even Brad Pitt doesn't get such responses.

Alot of good shows recently ah!! I also liked 881, Evan Almighty (so many cute animals) and I can already predict I will love Ratatouille. Yeah la maybe I spelt it wrong, but the time I still cared about people commenting on my English has long passed! Can't be bothered!

I blogged this post for 5 hours straight, and I am finally joining poor Mike in bed at 6.30am. -_-

Ring Ring

Advertorial

A friend asked me to go to Clarke Quay one evening, and I saw these two angmohs performing their hearts out. Their songs are really cute, and so I chatted them up, and they told me they used to top the charts in Belgium!!

In exchange I told them about my blog, and thus this little advertorial to introduce this band to you!

Connexion is a duo made out of two angmohs, and they have a one-hit wonder song a long time ago that apparently made them famous (in Belgium that is).

And now, the band is about to make a comeback with their tour in Singapore!

Why Singapore I have no idea - maybe they like our SPGs? Heehee...

And the funniest thing is, they actually starred in a SWEATBAND commerical back in their heyday!

What the ruddy hell is a sweatband?

Is it a sweaty band?

WATCH THE COMMERCIAL (I assure you it is super duper funny)



A sweatband is apparently something you tie on your head to absorb 3 times the sweat... Now I know...

It's super hilarious I tell you, with the mullets and the disco balls, haha! Even includes a blonde chick doing nothing for maximum manliness effect!!

You think the hilarity stops here, but no!

Their one-hit-wonder song will have you humming subconsciously to it while cooking maggi mee, and then slapping yourself for not snapping out of the song after 10 hours.

Introducing...

RING RING



That is as good a MTV as it can get, huh? Ring ring ring ring, why won't you pick up the phone...?

LOL...

Connexion talk show:



They are my new idols leh.

The point of this blog entry? Nothing, I just wanted to show you all Connexion. Ring ring ring ring, why won't you pick up the phone?

Skarly you house phone ring all by itself after you finish reading this... Woo, scary!

P/s: View Connexion's website here!!!

Girl on Girl

Advertorial

Munkysuperstar (the good people who brought you Girls Out Loud) came up with another reality show, and this time, it's called Girl on Girl!

And it's hosted by Rozzie!!

Before you start thinking how come Mediacorp would agree to boardcast some good old lesbian scenes, get your mind out of the gutter!

Girl on Girl is a reality show where 6 girls compete to do typically male tasks, such as changing tires, daunting physical activities, or I don't know, shaving beards and what's not. (I'm kidding about the shaving, I'm sure it's not very sexy to watch a girl shave her beard on tv)


Hehe...


(Digressing, I think there should be a male version of this show where straight boys are asked to braid hair and wax legs and I dunno, multi-task? Walk in high heels? Would be super entertaining!)

In typical Gillian fashion (Gillian is director of the show), she casted very GIRLY girls to go on the show, and I doubt all of them really knew what they were in for - except that the prize money is $10,000.

Eh, I also told my friend Qihua (or Kaykay, as we call her) to go for the casting, and she got in as well.

She called me after the first task - which was already shown on Channel 5 - and told me about how severely injured she was.

I think I detected a note of hatred from her for introducing her to the show. You might win $10,000 mah, must think about that!!!


Here are some photos of the contestants...

Personally, I think the shampoo contestants are the chioest...

No la joking, the girls are not competing with shampoos, actually it's just that this show is brought to you by Clear Men - the first anti dandruff range for men!

Who can forget the sexy Italian-looking man who used to have a dandruff problem? (On the tv ad la, stupid)

The winner of this show is determined not only be the scores they get during the show, but also largely based on INTERNET VOTING!

Don't want your favourite girl to sob her heart out coz she lost? Go vote for her now! (I don't want to be biased but I'm telling ya, VOTE FOR KAY KAY!!!)

Prizes for voting:

10 weekly prizes each week; Timbre vouchers, Schick hampers, cash vouchers at Storm Hair, 2 years’ free subscription to NewMan and Xbox “Get Connected” packages. The grand prize is $5,000 and BMW Advanced Driver Training for the winner and 2 friends.

All that the guys have to do is vote for their favourite girl and they are immediately eligible for the lucky draws. From 1 – 31 August, they can gain additional 1,000 points with any Clear Men shampoo purchased at selected NTUC Fairprice supermarkets.

There are still two episodes left for tv telecast - the challenge of enduring a million creepy cockroaches in a trapped area, and the grand finale.

The show is on Channel 5 every Thursday, 11.30pm.

Alternatively, log on to clearlyformen now. :) You can watch all the episodes you missed there!

Who do you think is the chioest contestant?

The happiest day of my life

A few days ago I really met the worst cab driver I ever encountered in my entire life.

AND I TELL YOU, I've encountered some really bad ones before!

But this one really karate-kicks the rest to his position of champion of all m******cking cab drivers (got to censor the vulgarities a bit since the advertorial is being run, will revert to normal vulgarities after this... Haha)

Okok, so Eekean invited me to a party at Ridout Road.

I had no idea where Ridout Road is, but I did know I was running late, so I called for a cab.

Before my called cab arrived I got a SMRT cab, thinking, woohoo, I just saved $4, it must be my lucky day!

I cancelled my call, and hopped on, not noticing that the sky turned pewter grey and lightning struck a nearby dove as a subtle ominous foreboding for me.

The Chinese uncle was ancient and raspily asked me, "Going where?"


I replied, "Ridout Road."


Rid-Out Road. I pronounced it this way.


He said "Huh? What?"


Ri-dout Road?


Still he doesn't know what the hell I am talking about.

I spelt it out for him.

By now he was rising his voice at me - apparently he is semi-deaf and can't hear my screams of Ridooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuut ROOOOOOOADDD!!!

I was very frustrated and asked him to give me the street directory and I will show him.

I SWEAR TO GOD THIS F***er must be older than Jesus himself: With all the grace of a slow-motion film, he took 10 whole seconds to reach to the newspaper-wrapped directory sitting innocuously on the dashboard in front of him, and told 10 seconds to pass it to me.

You would think the directory was a delicate endangered species of butterfly that will turn to dust at the slightest touch.

I snatched the book from him (I don't give a toot-toot-toot that he is damn old - I'm in a rush for time and if he can't give good service then I won't pay for the same price for his services, ok! Plus, he is completely unrepentent and rude!), and viciously flipped the pages.

There we go, on blessed page 146, Ridout Road.

I gave him the book with the open page.

I have been cabbing for some time now, and whenever the same situation happens, the cab driver will usually just take the book from me and wait until a traffic stop to read the book, or else some of the more garang ones would just read it while still driving.

To my horror, however, this Ah Gua stopped his car at a bus stop that was JUST BEHIND A RED TRAFFIC LIGHT!

Cannot read the book while the traffic light is red meh? It's not Order of the Phoenix lor, 700 plus pages, need to read so long meh?

"Never mind," I told myself. "People old already, don't be so harsh."

As the meter ticked away, this old geezer took the book from me (once again, slow-motion film style), and put it on the seat next to him.

Then, to my horror, he took another 10 seconds to take out his spectacles from his stupid pocket and another 10 seconds to put on the glasses.

After inspecting this book for around 1 min, he announced irritatedly at me, "I CANNOT SEE LA." and he mumbled something about small words, as if I did a major wrong to him by asking him to read his own directory!

I ALMOST DIED ON THE SPOT CAN!

But by now it was too late to get on another cab coz it was peak hour and there was none!

Really boiling by now, I yelled at him, "THEN HOW WE GO IF YOU CANNOT READ IT?!"

He responded by keeping resolutely quiet.

The bus at the bus stop honked at him to get moving. I told him to get on the PIE first.


I felt a bit guilty after, so I tried to be nicer. I looked at the map, and thought Swettenham Road was a definite no-go, I said, loudly for his deafness,


"Pierce road? PIIIEERCCE Road you know how to go?"

Pierce was simple enough, I thought, vastly wrong.

"Er road?"

"No no, PIERCE."

He kept quiet once again.

CAN'T BE LOR WHERE GOT CAB DRIVER DUNNO WHAT IS PIERCE ROAD?

And how the ruddy hell am I supposed to describe pierce road to him better? I certainly don't know the Chinese name!

I wanted to say Holland Road, but I'm afraid he would bring me along some other way to the Holland Village area or something since Holland Road is so long, so I said Napier Road instead, which was the road that led to Holland Road.

After I told him "Napier Road", he replied,


"HUH? CHEER ROAD?"











CHEER ROAD LEH! Last thing I feel then was CHEER LOR!

UNCLE, YOU SUPER DUPER DEAF OR WHAT?

This uncle must really go for a spelling bee contest lor, he can be the comedy factor in the show.

Other 7 yr old kids spell N-A-P-I-E-R, he spell C-H-E-R CHEER!


AND WHERE GOT TAXI DRIVER DUNNO WHAT IS NAPIER ROAD ONE?!

As a last ditch attempt before I take over the driving myself (won't be that hard to knock out an old man and figure out how to operate a car), I said, "Dempsey Road, Dempsey road you know how to go?"


"Dimpsey?"

"Yes Dempsey road. You know?"

"Yes," he said, and for one moment he sounded like a helpless old man and I felt really bad for flaring up at him, so I just kept quiet and hoped to myself that he really knows where Dempsey road is.

We arrived at Holland road correctly (bless his wrinkly ass) and before he turned into Dempsey, I said with ample warning time, "Don't turn inside, next one then turn." (See map to understand)

He still attempted to turn into Dempsey, and when I screamed bloody murder, he tsk-tsked at me as if it is my fault leh!

Finally we turned into Pierce road - which was full of super big private houses and was quite dark like all private estate roads are.

Well, this old man obviously didn't know how to navigate himself so I have to navigate him right?

So I told him turn left here (repeated in Chinese too just in case), or turn right there - and increasingly he showed his displeasure by not signaling and turning with the speed of a retarded driving learner.

He lumbered on at 20 km/hr (I am not kidding, I could have gone faster on a bicycle), and when I asked him to turn again, he shouted hoarsely at me,

"YOU DON'T DO THIS TO ME AH, SO DARK, I CANNOT SEE VERY WELL!"


I DO THIS TO HIM?!?!?!?!

Wah I swear I almost whacked him on his head with my tamagotchi can! Next time before I get on cabs I'd go buy a lump of char siew just to whack these horrible cab drivers with. They literally won't know what just hit them.

It took all my willpower to not argue and I had to keep telling myself that I'm reaching my destination very soon and Eekean who was there alone was counting on me to accompany her.

45 wasted minutes of my youthful life later we got there, and my cab fare was 21 bucks (I came from Loyang) - which was surprisingly not as bad as I thought, although most of the credit goes to myself for being able to read a map.

I handed him a 50 dollar bill, which was the only kind I had - but seriously, it's not like I took a bloody $3 cab ride right? $29 in change in not too much to ask for what!

The bugger said, "WHY SO BIG? GOT SMALLER NOT?" in an accusing tone (apparently still petty that I made him drive through a dark area in his semi-blindness), and I told him no.

You have no idea what it took me to not say, "DON'T WANT IS IT, SUA!"

He took 20 seconds to count how much to give me back, so I told him, "You have to give me back $29."

He took out a stack of ample ten dollar notes and took the longest time humanly possible to count 2 ten dollar bills.

As a goodbye gift, he grumbled at me, "NEXT TIME YOU DON'T DO THIS, I CANNOT SEE YOU KNOW!"

And I literally had to bite my tongue to stop from responding, "CANNOT SEE DON'T FUCKING DRIVE LA!"

With a slam on his door I watched him drive off, at the speed of 10 km/hr.

I hope he knocks onto something on his way out.

I took down his license number, but I decided to be nice and let this pass. What do you think, though? Should I write to SMRT? Should I be nice to this old man, or be nice to the thousands of other people who could suffer the same fate as me?

I think I'd let it go, just hope that I don't get this sort of driver again. Seriously dude, so old don't drive la!

Alas! The very next day I got another bad cab experience.

This time, there was a small cockroach happily walking next to my seat and the cabbie gave me a piece of dubious wet cloth, and told me to murder the cockroach myself, if I would wish to.

I told him I was terrified that the roach might fly and flap me in the face, but he assured me baby roaches don't fly.

SO I KILLED IT.

I also killed a lizard (my tenth, I think). That story for another day. My life as an amazing cab-riding auntie.

This blog exists to advocate gay justice

Got nothing much to blog about recently in my life (except for new house stuff, which I'm sure most of you aren't interested in - after all, if the blog title had been "Home and Living: Xiaxue's new place!" would you be craning your neck now to read the following promising story?), so I've decided to show you guys some emails that I have received recently.

It seems, every now and then, there would be some fuckers who ask me to use my blog's popularity to help them give some shitass cause more awareness - be it "save the whales", or "don't wear fur", or "give us paedophiles a break, we made our choice and it's our freedom!" - like I really give a shit.

The only cause I care about enough to blog about is perhaps how pink-lovers are often unfairly judged (just because we like pink doesn't mean we are all frivolous and stupid!! *sees a pink feather boa nearby and runs chirpily to it, distracted*), but that's for another day.

A few days ago, my blog was requested to "do the greater good" of helping male gay clients to be aware of horrible gay prostitutes.

That's right, here's the email "Vincent Toni" sent to me... He quoted the entire email exchange he had with NYP (for those of you who aren't Singaporean, it's a polytechnic in Singapore).



His initial email to NYP:

Nike bags very expensive meh? I am guessing this Benny isn't too good-looking else he will ask for LV. :D


I can't believe it, but NYC actually replied to him:

I'm imagining this really strict old lady that looks like McGonagall reading this and shaking her head, not knowing how to civilly reply someone like Vincent. Hahahaha...

And he is at it again:

And NYP never bo chup him leh!!

Haha, they are obviously patronising him.

He is still an unhappy person:

NYP's third and final response:

This made Vincent Toni boil, and thus his plea to me:

Hmmm... I wonder who the victim really is. Is it Benny? Is it the orange-haired sms-harasser? Or is it NYP?

I sent him this reply:

Yes I will publish it...

And my email reply to him:

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Vincent very indignant!

I cannot be bothered with him so I didn't reply.

He sent me this:

At the same time, my attention for my inbox was taken away from Vincent by one Connie Jo, who apparently has the same problems as Vincent: vicious gay men who are terrible and must be made known to the public!

Now I've pissed Connie off! Her final reply:

Wooohooo... Angry.

At the same time, I received another email by Vincent Toni!

Had no idea "I hv scam U" is such a popular phrase...

I was in a good mood and felt like insulting people, so I replied him:

He didn't heed my advice to commit suicide:

Hehe... He admits his dick got cauliflower leh!! So interesting, next time Singapore got garden exhibition again must ask him go and be exhibit.

My reply:

Obviously my insults are invalid because I don't even know how the hell he looks like, but it seems to have hit a raw spot...

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WAH SO HANDSOME ONE THIS VINCENT TONI!!!!

Well, that's the end of the saga!! Go email Vincent and have an email fight with him if you are bored!

p/s: I have nothing against homosexuality and you shouldn't either, so please don't write homophobic comments else they will be deleted.